Random Thoughts

I'm Back!

2005-07-30T21:25:00.000-07:00

Ok, sorry for the extended absence, but I've been really snowed under with all the things I've had to do with getting my Mom ready for the assisted living move.

So what have I been doing you ask?

Well, went to the lawyer twice and got Mom's will redone to include an expensive Anti-bellum Quilt that one of my sisters has made off with. The quilt was lent to her by Mom to have it appraised in 1990 and to everyone's surprise, it had a value then of about $175K. The sister (who now lives 700 miles away) volunteered to keep it in a bank vault to protect it against the elements, and has had it every since. Mom wants it back, so that it can be included in her estate, but the sister has stalled.

Also, got a new power of attorney that includes myself and my brother. It also revokes the old POA, so the sister that lives 700 miles away is totally in a meltdown. She has called me several times and threatened to "Get me". She's also going to "get my brother" as well. Yikes! Time to lawyer up!! She cares more about control than she does Mom, so henceforth, she shall be referred to as the evil sister.

Evil sister is in for another surprise as the new will that was made included the fact that she is now no longer the executor. Nothing was changed beyond that except the inclusion of the quilt.
My guess is she will claim that Mom gave it to her, and Mom can't remember. Mom's longer term memory is in pretty good shape. We'll see how this plays out.

Meanwhile I just found out that Mom has a room available in the assisted living facillty and it will be ready sometime in the 1st week of August. So, I've been busy measuring furniture and seeing what will fit, and buying other stuff like a Queen size bed, microwave, small fridge, and a nice lazy-boy type chair.

This Friday, we see her regular doctor to get a TB test, and to give the Dr. a stack of papers about 1" thick to fill out.

After that, we move Mom in, but won't mess with the house or the residual furniture until Mom adapts to her new circumstances and is ready to sell the house.

Ok, for those that one day may have to go through this later on with one of your parents, here is some hard earned advice. Your Mom or Dad MUST be part of the decision process else they will not go until they are so incapacitated that you will need to get an order from a judge. It will be very difficult to do this because you will see the need long before your parent does, and you will be tempted to try and force the situation. Patience grasshopper! That will only make them dig in their heals. Sit down with them on a daily basis and give them some options...the whole thing is scary and overwhelming for them, and the best thing for you to do is just be their best friend no matter how urgent you believe the need for immediate action is. They will continue to forget all the little decisions that they have made, so write them down in a composition book, so when the subject comes up again, you can tell them to turn to the appropriate page and they will remember. Doing this over and over seems to get them to the point where they feel comfortable that everything has been taken care of for the move. This is important. Remember, all the things that need to be done to make the move are just overwhelming for them because they cannot remember short term stuff. Patient repetition will get them there, but ever so slowly.

Also, I got the lawyer to pony up a living will (Thanks Jessica), and that is an important step.

So I hope this explains my recent MIA.

So what have I been doing for fun you ask? Saw "Must like Dogs", which gave me a much needed emotional enema! Even took the wife (Yikes!). I recommend it to all.

later

TGIF!

2005-07-15T20:37:00.000-07:00

Finally, the weekend is here! Got off to a great start by seeing a VERY funny flick. "Wedding Crashers". You got to see this flick. Also paid for my season football tickets to see my alma mater play. I'm gonna tell you now, we're going to have a great year. Book It!
Tomorrow, it's off to help my Mom with a few things. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

later

Ok, It's Thursday!

2005-07-14T18:58:00.000-07:00

Got some things done today despite the fact I had to work!

1) Received a fax from the Director of the assissted living facility, which gives the dimensions of Mom's room, which will become available at some unknown time in the future. Mom has agreed to pick out some funiture from the house that will fit in the room. Getting Mom to agree on anything is a real positive. I think the trick is to set up one thing at a time. Too much going on and she will lose the thread and really get upset.
2) Set up an appointment this Saturday to take Mom to pick out a new mattress for the new room. Her present King is way too large.
3) Set up an appointment with the lawyer on Wednesday to tweak Mom's will and revise the power of attorney, so that I will be able to handle the finances more easily for her. Now this will give my Sister a giant Hersey crease when she finds out what has happened, and will likely to lead to some high drama in the future. This is a VERY complicated story, so more on this later down the road.
4) Proposed a far reaching solution to the world's energy crisis to my Boss, who is pumped about the possibilities.
5) Took profits in my Apple stock on the good news, even thought it may well go higher later on. I think the market is close to a pullback at these levels before it goes higher.
6) Ordered a 1.4 extender lens for my Canon 20D SLR, which will fit very nicely with my Canon 70-200mm IS USM Lens. This will give me a lens equivalent to about 430mm with an F-stop of 3.5. The wife will no doubt pitch a bitch when she finds out about this. Umm.....maybe I can get that Barnes & Noble sales clerk interested in a little modeling!!

later

One day Later

2005-07-13T20:37:00.000-07:00

Groan!

I'm not even going to post about today!

Whoops!

later

Tuesday

2005-07-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

Monday was hell, so much so that I had to sleep in until 12:00 Noon today.
First time I've done that in years, but I my body and mind really needed the time out. So, why all the stress, you ask? Well, took Mom to the Dr. for a check up and get her Rx renewed. She's 87 and has suffered from a mild stroke that affects her short-term memory. So, it's really difficult to see her in this condition, and unable to fix the problem. So, of course, while I'm taking her to the Dr. she asks me where we are going. She will ask the same questions over and over. I'm very patient with her, but it doesn't do anything for my mental health seeing her in this condition. After the Dr. I take her to her favorite place to eat..a place she used to go to when she was in her teens. Her long-term memory is just fine, so she's in a comfort zone where she doesn't have too much trouble connecting the dots. Next, we are off to our appointment with the Director of an assisted living facility, which puts a lot of stress on both of us, but particularly her. We tour the place (this is the 3rd time and Mom doesn't remember squat), and then I take her home, and try and explain how she can afford the place and what she should do next. Mom starts getting afraid of the whole idea, and completely loses it. The deal here is that this a big change for her, and it's complicated by the fact that she sometimes doesn't realize that she needs help cause she can't remember what happened or was said five minutes ago. The more time you spend making sure she understands, the more aware she becomes that she has a problem. And then she gets angry and frightened. Not good! I finally had to leave, which wasn't the first time, as when she gets in one of these moods there is no way to turn things around. Then its back home where I get stuck in the traffic for 4 hours, and don't get home until 9:00PM....a nice 12 hour day feeling like that I accomplished nothing. Just 12 hours of hell. The good news is that she seems to have come around today, and she seems much more positive in making this much needed move. But for those that haven't been through one of these deals, it hard to explain just how emotionally draining it can be. Oh, yeah, even though the wife wouldn't walk the dog for me at 11:00AM (I had to get the guy next door to do it. Can you believe that?), she did walk him at 5:00PM. I think the solution to the MidEast turmoil must be close at hand!

later

Sunday

2005-07-10T19:38:00.000-07:00

Glued to the TV watching Dennis make a landfall.
Walked the Dog, then went to see a flick (by myself of course). Flick wasn't to bad..."The Fabulous Four".
Dropped by Barnes & Noble to see if the hot sales girl was working. Nope.
Tomorrow I take my 87 year old Mom to the Dr. The wife won't walk my dog for me. This after I took her oldest daughter to the emergency room about 3 weeks ago (she had something else to do). Now she says I'm selfish. Cheeez!

later

Today Sucked

2005-07-09T22:06:00.000-07:00

Got into another huge fight with the wife today. Man would I like to find a reasonable way out of this marriage.

Bought some books at Barnes and Noble tonight, and I developed a huge crush on the sales clerk.

Why, you ask?

Probably because she is exactly opposite of my wife.

God would I like to just spend a whole day just talking with this woman.

My First Post

2005-07-04T19:22:00.000-07:00

This is my first post to my blog.
I don't know where I'm going with this, but I guessI'll find out.